Tinfoiler

Virus Making Americans Fat! It’s True, Science Says So!

I usually hate to trust scientists and doctors, especially when it comes to stuff like diseases, global warming and magnets, but some scientists have proven that there is a virus that is causing fatness in America. Dang, those Democrats will stop at nothing to destroy this beautiful land! Obviously, this is a man-made virus like Herpes, Type II Diabetes and migraines. You might be wondering why I care about this issue. Well, as much as I think that there is nothing wrong with a large man because bigness equals power, there is a sinister side. Powerful large men will spread this virus to beautiful thin women, and they will no longer be thin anymore. Eventually our beautiful country will be filled with overweight women. The result is that our strong big men, disgusted by the new obese American women, will start looking elsewhere for companionship, like Asia or Spain. Inside of 20 years the nation will be filled with half-China and half-Mexico babies supporting socialism!

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Bigness equals Power – Just look at Basil Marceaux and William Taft!

The other day at breakfast, I witnessed one of the most disheartening things I’ve ever seen. My son, Hunter, was drinking out of a two-liter diet soda bottle while eating his Jimmy Dean sausages. A diet soda! I did my best to not overreact to the situation and politely asked him who gave him the soda. We don’t keep that stuff in the house, just Mellow Yellow and sometimes Mountain Dew for special occasions, but never a diet soda. I’m not even sure they sell diet sodas in our town. Even if they did, I wouldn’t buy one, as I’m sure they aren’t American made. After I made Hunter, in tears, pour all of that diet soda down the sink I had him tell me why he felt the need to drink that junk. He showed me an article on FoxNews.com about how to lose weight. What the heck? It looks like even the neutral source, Fox News, has gone ultra left wing. Why would a man ever need to lose weight? Weight loss is for women and homosexuals. I explained to Hunter that being big makes you strong and powerful, and drinking diet soda could turn you into a gay or worse! America needs to get its priorities straight and start praising large powerful men instead of telling them they need to be skinny like French people.

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I’d Rather Go To Jail Than The Doctor

When it comes to politics, a wise man once said, in determining which side of the political spectrum you reside “either you like killin’ babies, or you don’t like killin’ babies.  It’s as simple as that.”  I’m starting to think with all the nonsense that the liberals come up with, that is pretty much a [...]

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Gay Hospital Visitation – Another Step For The Gay Agenda

So as you all probably have heard, the gay community has succeeded in further crumbling away our once moral America and has managed to limit our freedoms yet again with gay loving President Obama’s new mandate on hospital visitation.  The gay agenda has reared it effeminate head and spewed its hate all over the normal [...]

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