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It’s Called Christmas! Not Kwanzaa or Whatever Mexicans Celebrate!
Christmas is right around the corner. This time of year always makes me sad that America has lost it’s way and is ultimately trying to erase Christmas. Liberals try harder every year to destroy the goodness of the great holiday, so I thought I’d take the time to write about the things that really irk [...]
Continue reading...Germans Cure AIDS With Stem Cells – Jesus is Pissed!
16. December 2010
So, a liberal friend of mine sent me an article regarding some nonsense about stem cells (sorry Jesus) and AIDS. Yes, I have a few liberal friends, unfortunately, but I always wash my hands after dealing with them, so I’m not too concerned (but I never let them talk to my children, because you cannot [...]
Continue reading...Tea Party Proves Climate Change is Fake!
22. October 2010
I am gaining more respect for that Tea Party, especially now that they have spoken out and said without a doubt that climate change is a “flat-out lie”. Finally! I was busy sewing my children’s Jesus costumes for our annual anti-Halloween crusade when I heard a great interview on the radio. The founder of an [...]
Continue reading...Sharron Angle is Brilliant – She Should be Sharron ‘Angel’ Instead!
8. October 2010
I read an article about senate candidate Sharron Angle and all I can say is “I knew it!” My loyal readers know that I’ve been preaching her statement for ages. Ms. Angle stated that Muslims are taking over America. Finally, people can stop calling me crazy. It’s been verified that Muslims are indeed taking over and they are starting in Michigan. My guess is because of the lake. They were probably all hiding underwater waiting to pounce. At first, I wasn’t sure if I could trust Sharron Angle. Her first name has two R’s which makes it look foreign and her last name is ‘Angle’, and that sounds like a shady name a liberal would choose. But my sons reminded me that in fancy English, the word ‘angle’ means ‘to fish’. Fishing is a true American sport, so Sharron Angle is definitely a trustworthy intelligent woman, regardless of the spelling of her first name. Plus her last name is pretty close to the word Angel and God wouldn’t allow someone wicked to have a name like that.
Continue reading...Tobacco comes from Jesus – Screw you CDC!
8. September 2010
I try to push freedom on people wherever I go. I do my best, but it is difficult in our current country. There is a lot of anti-freedom propaganda floating around. Today, I read an article from the liberal middle class elitists that is obviously targeted at good working class Americans. They are still pushing the fact cigarettes are bad. The CDC keeps shoving fancy big numbers down our throats trying to take away our freedom to enjoy smoke. I know they haven’t outright banned cigarettes. But pretty darn close. You can’t even smoke in an elevator anymore! How the heck are you supposed to pass the time between floors? In America we are free, so they should ban people from preaching against smoking. Yes, I know cigarettes can be bad. There are a lot of chemicals in them, but only because the government adds them to try to put good hard working tobacco companies out of business. A cigaretteis no more harmful than a block of Velveeta or a fistful of American firecrackers, as long as you wash the chemicals off before smoking.
Continue reading...American kids becoming less creative? – Good, creativity is for losers!
12. July 2010
The communists over at Newsweek.com are complaining that American children are becoming less creative. Well, as a proud American, I say good! There is way too much focus on the creative or “liberal” arts in schools these days. It’s just not morally right. They aren’t even trying to hide the sinister agenda behind this “creativity”. Most educational institutions call it “liberal” arts right out in the public in front of everyone. As a conservative who loves freedom, I think this sort of thing should be illegal. The dark plan behind creativity is pretty obvious…create more homosexuals. If you have children that grow up excelling at things like painting, rhyming words and cursive, what else are they going to turn out to be? Obviously homosexual. Have you ever seen a good Christian heterosexual that enjoys cursive writing? We need to stop worrying about all that art and creative junk and focus on physical education and football class to teach our children to be strong like Jesus, not fragile and weak like a bunch of French ballet dancers or pharmaceutical salesman.
Continue reading...Electric Cars are unnatural – Electricity doesn’t come from God or the earth!
9. July 2010
So our short sighted President is once again showing his true colors. According to an article at the inappropriately named website, BrighterEnergy.com, Obama supports electric cars. Just another piece in the puzzle proving that the President is trying to force the liberal atheist agenda right down our throats. There is nothing wrong with the way cars work now. They are 100% natural and run on natural products from the earth. These are resources given to us by God and Jesus. If Jesus wanted us to drive around in electric cars, he would have put electricity in the ground so we could drill for it. But I’ve never seen any natural electricity sources, (other than lightning, but that doesn’t count because you can’t touch it without blowing yourself up). It is all man-made. Electric cars are just man’s attempting to replace God and destroy the good Christian gas stations that supply the bulk of our population with jobs across the nation. Not only is an electric car obviously the devil’s work, it is also dangerous, a way for the government to track you, and a way to stop old people from being able to drive!
Continue reading...Obama wants to force us to eat anti-freedom food products!
6. July 2010
We celebrated a beautiful and blessed Holy Independence Day over the weekend, filled with fun and spectacular freedom explosions. There is nothing quite like a summer pot-lock barbecue where everyone brings their favorite patriotic cuisine. This year we had a wonderful array of American food, but the best was a beautiful platter of good American Christian food, seen in the picture below. George Washington and Christopher Columbus are smiling proudly in their graves. But some prankster decided to bring a couple of La Choy eggrolls as a joke. We made short work of those with a good old USA invention called the firecracker. My son Hunter blew one of those eggrolls sky high, while Scout shot one clean out of Hunter’s hand with a .22 rifle (I would have punished him for it, but the look of surprise on Hunter’s face was too dang funny, and it was a holiday after all). But all that beautiful American invented food got the grown-ups discussing things. Apparently there is a lawsuit in the works against McDonald’s to attempt to get rid of the toys inside of a Happy Meal. What the heck is Obama trying to do? Where does he want us to get meals for our children? There is no way I will take my kids to that dang French fancy Chick-Fil-A!
Continue reading...Father’s Day a Conspiracy? Yes!
20. June 2010
Father’s day always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. People often think it is an innocent family holiday, but it is actually quite a dark part of our society. The problem with father’s day is that at its core it is an anti-Christian holiday. It is an attempt by the atheist religion to destroy Christianity. The fact that everywhere you look it is written “Father’s Day” with the word ‘father’ capitalized is very worrisome. The word Father, with the capital ‘F’ is only reserved for Our Father and Lord Jesus H. Christ. The fact that advertising companies want to jam father’s day down our throats with a capital ‘F’ just shows that the atheists have infiltrated modern society heavily. And father’s day isn’t even in the bible! I’ve looked through nearly half of that book over my lifetime and have never seen it mentioned! This is why my sons and I don’t celebrate father’s day. When my children ask who their father is, I tell them Jesus, or Toby Keith (if I could get past his lawyers for a paternity test, where is Maury Povich when you need him)
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20. December 2010
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