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47% Pay No Taxes! Vote Romney to Raise Taxes to End Socialism!

20. September 2012

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47% Pay No Taxes!  Vote Romney to Raise Taxes to End Socialism!

So it turns out that Obama has lowered taxes so much for ‘those people’ that about 47% of them don’t pay any taxes at all.  That’s just proof that Obama is ruining America with socialism!  We need to get Romney into office immediately so he will raise those taxes to stamp out socialism.  Leave it [...]

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Obama Wastes Tax Payer Money on Giant Party!

7. September 2012

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Obama Wastes Tax Payer Money on Giant Party!

So I heard that Obama threw a giant party the other day at some sort of convention hall in North Carolina.  I didn’t bother to watch any of it, because I already knew it was going to be all about gay intercourse, hating Jesus and taking away our guns.  I’d rather let my family watch [...]

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Guns Are the Solution to Voter Fraud!

31. August 2012

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Guns Are the Solution to Voter Fraud!

So one of the biggest issues that plagues our country these days is voter fraud.  And if you don’t believe me, just look at who is in office, just look at him.  Would a Christian country honestly vote someone like that into office?  I don’t think so.  It’s pretty obvious that fake votes are the [...]

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Proof Jesus Hates Obama – Top 5 Reasons

24. August 2012

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Proof Jesus Hates Obama – Top 5 Reasons

The world has been falling to pieces for the last four years, and there is one obvious reason,  Barack HUSEIN Obama.  I’m not even talking about how he crashed the economy in 2008 (even though some people want to blame our last president, but the facts are that he was elected in 2008, and the [...]

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The GOP Exposes Liberal Lies About Women’s Bodies

19. August 2012

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The GOP Exposes Liberal Lies About Women’s Bodies

Finally, some honest and intelligent people are running for office, instead of these liberals and gays trying confuse us with taxes and budget talk that doesn’t affect any of us normal people.  The wise Todd Akin is running for Senate in Missouri and has finally said what we all know, but what Obama and his [...]

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Alaska Officially Renamed ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’

5. November 2010

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Alaska Officially Renamed ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’

Sarah Palin’s new TLC show, ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’ is set to premiere soon. The show is about how great Sarah Palin is and all the wonderful things she’s done for Alaska. She’s made that state so amazing that the citizens actually call it ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’, instead of just Alaska.

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Bristol Palin Dons Monkey Costume on DWTS To Criticize Current Administration!

20. October 2010

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Bristol Palin Dons Monkey Costume on DWTS To Criticize Current Administration!

With elections right around the corner it is perfect timing to talk about one of the most important elections on television right now, Bristol Palin on Dancing With The Stars, which I’ll refer to as DWTSfrom this point forward like all the kids do.  The liberals were hoping Bristol would be voted off last night, [...]

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Paris Hilton and Sarah Palin – Two Peas in a Pod!

1. September 2010

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Paris Hilton and Sarah Palin – Two Peas in a Pod!

As a part of their home schooling, I had my sons write 50-word essays about good conservatives. My son, Scout, wrote one about Newt Gingrich. Well, he got an afternoon of picking up cigarette butts off the back porch for that one. He failed to realize that Newt Gingrich can be rearranged to spell “Get(t)ing Rich”, so it is obvious where his intentions lie. Hunter, on the other hand, had a very interesting essay regarding someone that I never considered; Paris Hilton. At first glance, she seems like a typical liberal screw-up. But upon deeper analysis, we can see that she represents a lot of good conservative values. She is very similar to the blessed Sarah Palin. In fact, Paris Hilton’s name is striking similar and can spell “Sari Pilon” which is close enough for government work. And just like Sarah realized she is too good for Alaska, Paris Hilton knows that she is too good for certain jobs also. She showed the world this in her wonderful documentary “The Simple Life.” Sarah Palin is now creating her own television program “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, which also makes them similar. They both represent the values of good Americans, achieving success through popularity and having lots of money. I hope my children achieve their status at some point in their lives.

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Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston break engagement? Burn all your Levi jeans in protest!

4. August 2010

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Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston break engagement?  Burn all your Levi jeans in protest!

It’s a sad day for true Americans. Brace yourself…angelic Bristol Palin and former pornographer turned good Christian, Levi Johnston, have split again. I am flying my American flag as well as my Stars and Bars at half mast all month. This story was reported by the Washington Post, so you know it is important. It must be a hot topic these days in the oval office. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is somehow Obama’s doing. Apparently, the Palin family lawyer thinks that the young couple will work out their differences. But what does a lawyer know? Our President is a lawyer and look where that got America! In defiance of the atheist Levi Johnston, I have cleared the house of all Levi jeans products and burnt them in the middle of the street. Hunter and Scout will just have to wear their church sweat pants until the next government unemployment paycheck comes in.

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New 2012 Dream Team – Sarah Palin and Mel Gibson!

22. July 2010

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New 2012 Dream Team – Sarah Palin and Mel Gibson!

Not too long ago I wrote that Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent would make stellar running mates for the 2012 election. While these two are definitely a powerhouse duo, with Sarah’s inventive vocabulary and herculean work ethic paired with Ted Nugent’s cool voice and ability to slay any animal and convert it to delicious jerky; there is actually a more practical match that true Americans should be supporting. The dream team for 2012 is Sarah Palin and Mel Gibson. I know a lot of you have gotten caught up in the liberal lame stream media that has suddenly decided to target Mel Gibson and spin many of statements to make them sound mean and bad. Heck, even I got caught up in that until my son Hunter pointed out that Mel Gibson is merely a passionate man, proven by the fact that he made a movie with the word passion in it, “The Passion of the Christ”. He is passionate just like Jesus H. Christ, and is being persecuted in much the same way. That’s when the light bulb turned on inside of my brain. The atheists hate his passion and holiness and are trying to destroy him just like they did with Jesus a couple hundred years ago. Typical liberals, always crying racism, when it is really the liberals who are racists against Mel Gibson.

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