So Obama and his cronies did it again. They completely ruined my Christmas. His communists at the TSA screwed everything up…and nearly got my kids and I killed in a terrorist incident along the way! We were traveling via jet airplane to see family, and were all geared up for a head to head with the TSA. I promised my sons that I would show them American freedom in action when the TSA perverts forced us to go through the body scanner. I had a copy of the constitution in my back pocket and I was prepared to sue them immediately. Those jerks never made me go through a scanner! Not only that, they let a Chinaman through without searching his bag! And to top it off we had an atheist sitting next to us on the jet airplane. We could tell he was an atheist because he was reading Harry Potter. My son, Hunter cried the whole flight.
After reading and seeing all the nonsense that the liberal TSA has been up to, I was ready to do battle at the airport. I told my sons that as soon as they asked me to go through the body scanner, I was going to pull out my pocket constitution and make them read it, in the name of freedom. After that, according to what I read on the internet, they would have no choice but to pay me a cash settlement immediately. If they didn’t pay me I could sue them for millions. I told my sons to pick out whatever they wanted for Christmas, because after I got that cash settlement, I could afford anything. So I bought my kids all kinds of gifts on credit. Well, guess what happened…they didn’t ask me to go through the scanner. Those dang liberals hate America. So I didn’t get my cash settlement. Now how the heck am I going to pay my credit card bill? Is the TSA going to pay it for me? They should. I have to return the gifts I gave my kids. I told them to blame Obama and the TSA, they ruined Christmas.
I’m thinking of suing the airline, because of the stress I had during the entire flight. They let a Chinaman on board the same plane as Christians! Don’t they have their own Air China jet planes or something? They didn’t even search his bags. I was nervous the entire flight. I had to stay vigilant in case he slipped into the restroom and changed into a ninja suit and started karate kicking all the stewardesses and pilots. Heck, we were one second away from him throwing Chinese stars everywhere, taking over the jet plane and kamikaze flying it to China and selling us into slavery. Talk about stress! Luckily, my son Scout gave him a warning on the way in. He told the man, “They don’t serve sushi on American jet planes, so you better not get any funny ideas!” The man looked confused and tried to say something like “I’m not Asian, I’m Native American”. Just like a Chinamen, being sneaky and confusing.
Then to top it off, the young man next to use read a Harry Potter book the entire flight. It is bad enough that he read Harry Potter. I thought Jesus might strike the plane with lightning at any time out of anger. And he would have had an easy time, since we were up so high, he wouldn’t have to really put much effort into aiming. But he read the whole dang flight. Who reads more than 30 minutes at a time? He was obviously some sort of elitist liberal genius. That’s what made Hunter cry, the fact that this young man read the whole time. Hunter thought he must be a robot, since no human can read for that long. I had to calm him down and tell him we weren’t going to be attacked by ninjas or robots. It was hard to say this to my son, because I wasn’t sure that we wouldn’t get attacked by robots and ninjas, or worse!
It was a terrible trip. Obama, the TSA, foreigners, and atheists will stop at nothing when it comes to ruining holidays for good Christian Americans. Dang you , Obama!
Click on the ads to the right and share this article if you love freedom!