Well, the bonfire was blazing and crackling with the sound of freedom in backyard last night as my children and I watched some comic books turn from propaganda to holy ashes floating to heaven. We started the fire because I caught my son, Hunter, reading a comic book called “The 99”. Well, it looked innocent enough until I did some research. This comic book features superheroes that embody the 99 attributes of Allah. I cried for hours after I saw this. Why does Obama allow this kind of evil junk to be sold in our country? Does he hate freedom? Beyond the fact that the comic is tainted with Islam, just look at the title, “The 99”. Turn it upside down and it is 66, and the word “the” upside down looks like an inverted cross, a pitchfork, and a tanning bed. Add another 6 along with the inverted cross and pitchfork and you have Satan! And the tanning bed is hot like the devil and makes you dark skinned like a Muslim. And if that doesn’t convince you, 9+9 equals 18, divided by 3 equals 6. Three 6’s! You don’t have to be a Chinese math wizard to figure that out.
After raiding my kids’ room for other evil materials, we started up a big fire in the backyard. I took the time to look through everything my kids had stacked in their room and hidden under their mattresses. I let them keep their old Playboys because women come from God and Hugh Hefner is rich and makes a good American role model for my children. But comic books don’t come from God and superheroes use witchcraft. I know the liberal homosexuals want to force witchcraft down our throats with all the Harry Potter nonsense. They try to tell us it is okay to be gay and cast spells. Well, not at my house. If you come in my door with your magic wand sticking out, I’ll break it right in half and my son, Hunter, will shoot you straight in the buildingwith his pellet gun. Take your fairy magic back to France!
I did find a lot of old comic books and spent some time thumbing through them. I realized what I used to think was innocent definitely was not. Scout had a stack of superherocomic books. First of all, they all wear tights which makes me wonder if they are promoting some sort of transgendered cross-dressing. It’s either that or they are saying it’s okay to be a ballet dancer. Neither one of those is in the bible, so it is no longer in my house. And a lot of the characters obviously have agendas. Aquaman is trying to shove environmentalism in everyone’s face by living underwater and telling us fish are people too and they talk to you and have feelings. Wonder woman is obviously a lesbian feminist, since she is taking on a male’s job. Or she is probably bisexual since she calls herself “wonder” woman. And she flies an invisible plane. We don’t build invisible vehicles in America, so she obviously supports Chinese manufacturing companies. What a b!tch! And green lantern, don’t get me started on that little Irish pansy. And then Batman and Robin, they take the cake. I think they are responsible for the entire modern gay agenda. Kids watched that show and read those comics in the 80′s and never thought twice about two men that walked up walls, hunched over, buttocks to crotch and lived in a cave together. They probably lived in the same cave Osama Bin Ladin grew up in!
Other than the Playboys, I did let my children keep one set of comic books. They are allowed to read Richie Rich because that obviously instills good American values. It also gives them something to strive for. It is definitely the American way to get so super rich you don’t have to work and you have servants do everything for you. The only thing that confused me a little about the cartoon is why all the servants are Americans. I went through each issue and colored all the workers and servants various shades of brown to make the comic book more accurate and realistic for my children to learn from.
As a good parent you should search the rooms of your children and collect any items you don’t agree with. The best idea is to burn them in front of your children so that they can see and smell the power of freedom firsthand.