Tinfoiler

So there is a hurricane headed toward the Carolinas.  And with a name like Earl, you know that it will be tough, stout and full of pride.  At first, I had no fear for the Carolinians.  I figured they’d line up along the coast with their pistols and shotguns and just shoot that dirty hurricane right back into the sea.  But now I am scared as heck for them as I’ve learned that our current Socialist Muslim-loving government wants to take away the guns of all Americans during a “state of emergency”.  That is a violation of the constitution and the bible!  How are people supposed to defend themselves against the hurricane.  And what if there are terrorists hidden inside the hurricane. My son, Hunter, told me about how he learned from one of his video games that sometimes ninjas can turn themselves into little tornadoes.  So what if this ‘Earl’ is just the China army coming to attack?

The Chinese Army could send Ninjas in the form of tornadoes and hurricanes. Be aware!

I know that liberals hate guns because their girly French hands have trouble holding them.  Also, since they’ve typically either spent all their lives in college abortion classes, or have just wandered around getting handouts, their hands are soft, so the recoil on a pistol makes their hands hurt.  Liberals will whine about the pain and expect universal healthcare to help them.  Well, guns are a part of America so the socialists just need to suck it up.  George Washington used his gun to shoot any foreigners that stepped on to his property.  He probably blasted thousands of Indians out of our good country and back to where they belong.  So taking away someone’s gun is pretty much the same as saying to them “I hate you and George Washington and Jesus Christ”. And anyone who hates Washington and Jesus is an enemy to America.  Who fits that bill?  Barack “Crab Bomb” Obama.

Disarming Americans is no way to react in a “state of emergency”.  In fact, it should be the other way around.  Obama should be out on Carolina streets handing out rifles and shotguns.  I bet if George Bush was still in office, he would have ridden into Raleigh on a white horse in a tri-cornered hatwith a satchel full of the best American made weaponry you can buy.  If you can’t defend yourself and your property, you are useless.  Hurricanes are strong.  And everyone always runs away when they come to shore.  Well, I think that is part of the problem.  Stand up and be an American and shoot back against that hurricane.  It is just wind.  If you shoot enough bullets into it, it has to push the wind the other direction. It’s just logic and science.

This true American isn't letting a hurricane on his property!

But let’s take a deeper look at this.  I think there is something else going on with these so called “hurricanes”.  First of all, is it a coincidence that they always come from the ocean?  What else has to come across the ocean to get to America?  Foreigners.  I am beginning to think that hurricanes are very possibly a weapon of destruction being tested by China or Russia right across the ocean.  Think about it for a bit.  Were there hurricanes during biblical times?  Jesus never mentioned a hurricane coming to America in any of his speeches.  I worry that once the Chinaman and the Russians perfect them, we will get hit with a dozen at once.  Then they will attack, and Obama will have taken our guns, and probably sold them to Mexico and flown to the Bahamas with the profit.  I wouldn’t put it past him!

Also, if you’ve ever looked on a drink menu at a fancy elitist restaurant like T.G.I.Friday’s or a foreign Chile’s you’ll see that there is actually a drink called a “Hurricane”.  It was invented in New Orleans, a place full of heathens and sex addicts.  The drink is also very fruity which appeals to liberals and people from France.  I think this conspiracy has been going on a long time and terrorist cells are embedded into our culture just laughing at us by inventing drinks and making us think hurricanes are natural and fun.  What is next, a Hurricane Burger made out of fish and burritos?  America is in a dangerous time.

I think the good southern Americans in the Carolinas should start lining up on the beaches with big signs and guns.  The signs should tell that hurricane to go back home.  We aren’t fooled by the American name “Earl”.  And if it keeps coming, well then they have no choice but to blast away.  It’s in the constitution.

-jagermom47

Check out this related article: Crab Bombs