As a part of their home schooling, I had my sons write 50-word essays about good conservatives. My son, Scout, wrote one about Newt Gingrich. Well, he got an afternoon of picking up cigarette butts off the back porch for that one. He failed to realize that Newt Gingrich can be rearranged to spell “Get(t)ing Rich”, so it is obvious where his intentions lie. Hunter, on the other hand, had a very interesting essay regarding someone that I never considered; Paris Hilton. At first glance, she seems like a typical liberal screw-up. But upon deeper analysis, we can see that she represents a lot of good conservative values. She is very similar to the blessed Sarah Palin. In fact, Paris Hilton’s name is striking similar and can spell “Sari Pilon” which is close enough for government work. And just like Sarah realized she is too good for Alaska, Paris Hilton knows that she is too good for certain jobs also. She showed the world this in her wonderful documentary “The Simple Life.” Sarah Palin is now creating her own television program “Sarah Palin’s Alaska“, which also makes them similar. They both represent the values of good Americans, achieving success through popularity and having lots of money. I hope my children achieve their status at some point in their lives.
Paris Hilton is a true American despite her French first name!
I would love to publish my son’s essay here for everyone to read, but it is quite lengthy at 50 words and although I think he is my fat little genius, he did use the phrase “very, very, very, good” quite often within his essay to meet the word requirement. This shows how smart he actually is with his ability to manipulate the English language to make a point. Very similar to another genius, Sarah “Refudiate” Palin.
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking that Paris Hilton is probably not a good person based on her name. I realize her first name is French, and that makes me mad enough to spit. I often wonder why she hasn’t fixed her name to something like Dallas or Kentucky Hilton. She’d probably get a lot more respect that way. But her last name represents good American hotelier values, so they cancel each other out. But if you look closely, Paris Hilton could possibly be rearranged to spell “Halo in Trip(p)’s”. This makes me think that Paris Hilton is possibly Bristol Palin’s son’s guardian angel. Remember, God works in mysterious ways. So that name that at first glance represents cigarette smoking homosexual ballet dancers, actually represents freedom.
People like to complain about Paris Hilton’s richness. But remember the main goal of America is for all of us to become rich so we can be lots better than the other countries. This makes her a good role model. She often helps the economy by spending lots of money, which trickles down
Even God wants Americans to be rich!
Now, poor Paris Hilton is in the news again for getting into trouble with drugs. But those drugs weren’t even hers! And it was cocaine, which I believe is something created by the liberal government to frame good conservatives. Do you ever notice how it is only rich people that get in trouble for cocaine? (And rich equals conservative, even if some people don’t want to admit it) Coincidence? I doubt it. Besides, it is only powder, how bad can it be. It’s probably just sugar. But just like all other great conservatives such as Mel Gibson, Ted Haggard and Jesus Christ, the liberals want to make them out to be bad and crucify them. In the old days they pounded their hands to a stick, now you just make them look bad on television and frame them for crimes.
Paris Hilton may seem like an unlikely conservative role-model, but she and Sarah Palin are two peas in a pod. It would be wonderful if they actually went on television and did a reality show together. This might solidify Palin’s 2012 election win. If we are lucky, maybe Paris Hilton could have a place in the White House alongside Sarah Palin, Mel Gibson and Ted Nugent. But I’m sure the liberals will find a way to make them all look crazy.
Check out this related article: Bristol is an Angel
Wed, Sep 1, 2010
2012 Election, Current Events