Archive | September, 2010

Muslim Comic Books in America? – Burn’em Along With Those Dang Liberal Superhero Comic Books!

29. September 2010

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Muslim Comic Books in America? – Burn’em Along With Those Dang Liberal Superhero Comic Books!

Well, the bonfire was blazing and crackling with the sound of freedom in backyard last night as my children and I watched some comic books turn from propaganda to holy ashes floating to heaven. We started the fire because I caught my son, Hunter, reading a comic book called “The 99”. Well, it looked innocent enough until I did some research. This comic book features superheroes that embody the 99 attributes of Allah. I cried for hours after I saw this. Why does Obama allow this kind of evil junk to be sold in our country? Does he hate freedom? Beyond the fact that the comic is tainted with Islam, just look at the title, “The 99”. Turn it upside down and it is 66, and the word “the” upside down looks like an inverted cross, a pitchfork, and a tanning bed. Add another 6 along with the inverted cross and pitchfork and you have Satan! And the tanning bed is hot like the devil and makes you dark skinned like a Muslim. And if that doesn’t convince you, 9+9 equals 18, divided by 3 equals 6. Three 6’s! You don’t have to be a Chinese math wizard to figure that out.

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Tinfoiler Podcast – Episode 2!

28. September 2010

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Tinfoiler Podcast – Episode 2!

Episode 2 of the podcast is now available! In this episode Patrick and James discuss the article Bigness Equals Power.

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Obama wants people to go to jail for not mowing their lawns!

24. September 2010

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Obama wants people to go to jail for not mowing their lawns!

Just when I thought things were going well in the world, with the new television season starting and great people like Christine O’Donnell heading towards office, Barack Obama had to wield his tyrannically power once again. He wants to put people in jail for not mowing their grass! Police have too much power with tickets for jaywalking and fancy uniforms, now they can police your lawn! Apparently, in Albany, LA they are targeting people with grass taller than eight inches. What the heck, that isn’t even a foot, what’s the big deal Obama? This is clearly a law targeted towards good conservatives because liberals all live in places without grass, like New York and Nevada.

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Sweet Bristol Palin, Shake Your Behind and Show the World America is Awesome at Freedom!

22. September 2010

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Sweet Bristol Palin, Shake Your Behind and Show the World America is Awesome at Freedom!

Things are looking positive for true Americans these days with masturbation soon to be banned when Christine O’Donnell takes office, the Discovery network finally realizing the environment is a waste of time and allowing Sarah Palin a place on the great educational channel, TLC, and the best of all, blessed Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing With The Stars’! I agree with Sarah Palin who said that Bristol’s appearance on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ is a “story of perseverance”. ‘Dancing With the Stars’ is a place for only the top disciplined dancers and the most prestigious A-List actors and performers like David Hasselhoff and Michael Bolton. It is amazing that Bristol Palin made it all the way to such a high level competition without help from anyone. She showed those liberal communists her freedom when she ripped off her clothes and shook her behind in her outfit. Take that Russia! I think all of America was watching, at least the important people.

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TINFOILER PODCAST RELEASE DAY!

21. September 2010

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TINFOILER PODCAST RELEASE DAY!

As promised, I’ve brought you the Tinfoiler Podcast. The first episode of the podcast has been released along with the two pilot episodes. The podcast will be released every Tuesday afternoon from this point forward. It will also be available on something called ‘iTunes’ soon. Please listen and enjoy Patrick D. and James B.! (they tell me that the embedded player doesn’t work in all browsers, and they are working to resolve that issue quickly, whatever the heck that is supposed to mean)

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EXCLUSIVE! Christine O’Donnell Interview

20. September 2010

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EXCLUSIVE!  Christine O’Donnell Interview

I am very excited to publish this interview. I feel very privileged and honored that Christine O’Donnell has not only read my website, but has allowed for a short phone interview. I won’t bother with too much introduction here and get straight to the good stuff.

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Study shows guns are peaceful and totally awesome – Take that you hippies!

17. September 2010

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Study shows guns are peaceful and totally awesome – Take that you hippies!

Today, I read a wonderful and uplifting article about one of my favorite things; guns. Apparently data was released in 2009 showing that violent crime declined as gun sales increased. So take that you smelly hippies! Guns force more peace on people than your queer flowers and useless educations. The result of this gun study is definitive proof once and for all that America is number one at freedom. The more I think about it, it does make total sense. Both of my children increased their gun collection last year, Hunter found a pistol in the woods and Scout bought a MAC-10 from a street vendor and both of them have gotten into less trouble. Scout only got into a few fist fights last year and nearly no knife fights. He only punched people that deserved it. And Hunter has completely stopped throwing broken glass at homeless people. So our household fits the trend, we have more guns and my kids have become less violent. I guess it’s that feeling of power you get from holding your weapon in your hand, it makes you not want to kick and punch people that act different or have weird accents.

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Obama’s Children’s Book? Nothing But Perversion and Liberal Spelling

15. September 2010

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Obama’s Children’s Book?  Nothing But Perversion and Liberal Spelling

A friend of mine sent me a disturbing article about what Barack Obama has been up to lately. Apparently, he is releasing a children’s book entitled “Of Thee I Sing: A letter To My Daughters.” When I read this I nearly spit a mouthful of morning Mello Yello all over my keyboard. It’s appalling! What kind of monster would release a dang children’s book like that? He obviously has something up his sleeve. They call it a “children’s book”. That makes no sense. Children don’t like books. I’ve never once seen either of my children pick up any books, other than to throw them at each other in the retention pond or to knock a pigeon unconscious. It sounds like another socialist tactic to force their beliefs down the throats of our vulnerable youth. But I won’t stand for it!

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TINFOILER SPECIAL! – Audio Podcast coming soon!

13. September 2010

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TINFOILER SPECIAL! – Audio Podcast coming soon!

Today I am excited to write a special article about an upcoming audio podcast. I know what you are thinking, “What the heck is a podcast? It sounds like an electric fishing stick or some sort homosexual space aeroplane.” Well, it’s a radio show, and two young men approached me with the idea last week. I was extremely hesitant at first because I don’t like electronics. I don’t even use a coffee maker anymore because I don’t trust what it might be putting into the water before it hits the pot and who knows if that red light is actually one of those camera eyes like in the movie “2001” (it is already 2010 after all, so I wouldn’t doubt it). And don’t get me started on electric severs and the Youtube. But two gentlemen showed up on my property and my son, Hunter, held them in his rifle sight for about 20 minutes verifying that they were neither Chinese, Muslim or from the bank. When Hunter asked them who the smartest president was, the handsome one answered “Taft”. That’s when we knew they were good folk, so we invited them in for a Mountain Dew and some cigarettes.

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The Real 9/11 Conspiracy – Magic!

10. September 2010

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The Real 9/11 Conspiracy – Magic!

People often ask me my take on 9/11. Usually they want to know if I think it was a conspiracy. When this happens I always laugh and blow Virginia Slim smoke in their face. Anyone in our modern time that thinks that 9/11 was not a conspiracy is either a liberal, a Frenchman, or just plain stupid (which includes the previous two). The evidence is right in front of our faces. And it was obviously caused by Barack Obama. Is it a coincidence that “9” years after 9/11 we have a liberal in office? I don’t think so. And “11” years after 9/11 he will be running for office again! That cannot be a coincidence. And to think so is just putting your head in the sand. Now, my thoughts on 9/11 are a little bit more radical than the mainstream media. Just like the moon and moral evolutionists, I don’t think it exists. People often get angry at me about my opinion, but then I ask them “Did you see it happen? Or did you see it on TV? They can make all kinds of stuff happen on TVs using fancy computer disks”. It was probably just magic. After all, the only people in New York are rich snooty liberals, who are all in on the conspiracy!

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