Tinfoiler

I read an alarming statistic the other day.  Apparently, the birth rate is dropping here in the United States.  The reason has to be directly linked to Obama’s presidency.  It doesn’t affect liberals since they hate children anyway; with all the gayness, abortions, birth control candies, and Cling Wrap combined with rubber bands (or ‘condoms’ for fancy rich people).  Unfortunately, good Christian conservatives are having fewer children these days, often times less than five per couple.  How can you expect good conservative males to be able to perform in the bedroom with things like hybrid cars, soccer and The Food Network being forced down their throats?  Heck, it’s hard enough for a man to just stay straight these days.  The male anatomy requires constant thoughts of muscle cars and strong sports figures in order to maintain an effective erection.  Thankfully, we still have Sarah Palin on television to help out our good heterosexual men.  As the conservative alternative to Viagra, she is one of the few women that could give Jesus a boner.

More babies is good for the economy. It cause the government to give more money to citizens.

Some people out there are trying to blame the economy for the low birth rate that is occurring in our blessed country.  But this fact doesn’t make any sense.  First of all, conservatives are the ones that are having babies, since they care about freedom.   And good conservatives aren’t concerned with the economy.  Finances and economics are something that elitists talk about at their fancy top hat and monocle parties.  Good union factory workers couldn’t care less about economics.  The idea that Christians will stop having babies because of the current economic climate is laughable.  The bible tells us to make as many babies as we possibly can, so that takes precedence over whatever they say at community college pep rallies or in the constitution about baby making.

Liberals want to "control" these happy little guys with pills and rubber sacks.

This whole thing just feels like another Socialist plot to me.  Having babies is the exact opposite of economic recession.  In fact, the more babies you have, the more money you get.  The government is required to pay you for each baby you are able to have. I wouldn’t be able to afford cigarettes if it weren’t for this rule.  So, in actuality, if people started having more babies, they would get more money.  More money equals more spending on good American products like trucks, ammunition and hand-held automatic egg crackers.  In fact, if the gays would do their part and actually go out and have babies, many of them, America would be thriving and rich right now.  Instead, the liberals are all for a greedy hoarding government.  Obama and his buddies want people to have less babies so he can keep all that money himself and spend it on fancy golf shirts and wine coolers.

Luckily, there are a few smart people out there that are still trying to help our economy and our country by making sure they have a solid amount of babies in their herd.  Good families like the “Duggars” and their nineteen children and Kate Gosselin with her eight babies.  I’m so glad Kate got rid of that John character in “John and Kate Plus Eight” because he was a Chinaman and was probably trying to subliminally convert people to socialism using ancient ninja techniques on television.  It’s sad that those children have to group up half China blood, but luckily there are good people in the world like me and my family, Glenn Beck and Dr. Laura who are not at all racist.  In fact, I’d like to give the TLC channel credit for helping my children and I learn about diversity and being a good role model, unlike most television channels that just exploit people and create a big freak-show to get viewers.

I know that after reading this you are probably wondering why I only have two children myself.  Well, I wish I had more, and believe me I have tried.  Unfortunately, Obama and his police force tell me that I cannot come within 500 feet of Toby Keith anymore.  I do spend a lot of time at the Outback Steakhouse drinking long island iced-teas, so I’ll keep my fingers crossed that one day I’ll be lucky enough to have another baby. Maybe even a Jesus baby like Bristol Palin, but I’ll settle for any baby that I can get credit for.

If you are a good American, you should be out there breeding as much as possible.  Don’t get lured in by fancy condom commercials that liberals want to force down our throats.  Get out there and do it like Jesus would!

-jagermom47

Check out this related article: Obama hates children

And don’t forget to check out the cool youtube video to the right -