The commies are at it again. This time the dark plot involves the hard working farmers of America. Obama wants to shut down good American egg farms by scaring everyone away from eating eggs. Not only that, he wants to take away their rifles too! Unable to sell eggs, they will go broke, and with no rifles, they won’t be able to shoot the lazy liberal hippies that come on their land and try to steal their corn cobs which they make into marijuana smoking devices. Our president is getting sneakier and sneakier every day. They say these “contaminated” eggs have “salmonella”. Salmonella is obviously a fish disease, since it comes from the word “salmon”. “Salmonella” is probably just another word for a female salmon. Now what kind of true American farmer has salmon anywhere near his eggs? Eggs go with clean processed sausage products, not fish. Salmon is for homosexual vegetarians and Chinese sushi eaters. If the eggs did get salmon poisoning, it had to come from liberals throwing salmon sushi rolls all over Midwestern farms. As any good conservative wouldn’t be caught dead near a salmon, let alone a girly “salmonella” fish. Obama didn’t hide the trail very effectively this time.
Salmonella is just a girl Salmon that liberals use to contaminate everything!
Eggs are the heart of the American diet. Good American citizens have been starting their day with eggs and bacon since Jesus was born. Now the government is telling me that I can’t feed my children breakfast anymore? Without eggs I’ll have to double up on sausage and bacon to feed my children. My unemployment checks can only buy so much Jimmy Dean sausage. I think the liberals are trying to destroy good hard working families like my own by making us spend more money to feed our kids. My son, Hunter, can eat eight sausages patties himself for breakfast. Without six eggs to accompany his meat, how many sausages will I have to give him to even keep him alive? I can’t even calculate that. But I’m sure a “college educated” liberal can. Sound like discrimination? That’s because it is discrimination, by legal definition.
Liberals don’t care about eggs because they don’t eat them. They are too busy drinking foreign coffees for breakfast supporting the communist regimes in Brazil or wherever that Juan Valdez comes from. They couldn’t care less if hard working egg farmers go out of business as they support giant liberal corporations like Starbucks. Companies like this are just trying to destroy the American language and force foreign ways of speaking down our throats. They require you to order coffee and breakfast using words like Vendi, Mocha, Pastry. If you decide to call a “pastry” by its American name, a “crumbly bread square”, they force you to leave. Sound like discrimination? It sure is heck is!
Without M1 Garand rifles how can we tell people to get off of our property?
Now you might be wondering why I mentioned the banning of rifles combined with the forcing of Americans to stop eating eggs. There are actually two reasons, the first has little to do with eggs and salmon, but is worth mentioning. Obama doesn’t want Americans to have surplus Carbine and M1 Garand rifles shipped into the U.S. from South Korea. I don’t like taking stuff from foreign countries either. But if a country like South Korea is offering us all of their guns, we should take them, and then turn around and start shooting at them. I mean, South Koreans are basically Chinese and the Chinese are bad. So we should be happy to take away their weapons. Second, Obama wants to disarm American farmers. M1 Garand and Carbine rifles are a rich farming tradition. My grandfather always sat on his porch with his rifle and made sure to let anyone who got near his land know that they needed to “get off his property”. If you can’t shoot people for being on your property, how can you stop foreigners from stealing your crops. America is about freedom. Anyone is free to eat crops out of a farmer’s field, but that farmer is also free to shoot them. It is in the Constitution, but Obama wants to take this away.
It is a sad day for Americans when we can no longer eat eggs for breakfast and are forced to substitute scrambled eggs with La Choy eggrolls. We need to stand up for freedom and get those eggs back on the shelf and get rifles back in the hands of farmers.
-jagermom47
Check out these related articles: Obama hates American food, Stealing Lemonade from Children
August 24th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
if you eat fish in the past 2 months you need to go on a colon cleansing diet. This most recent study has determined that levels of mercury and other trace metals measured in both farmed and wild salmon were significantly below Health Canada’s consumption guidelines. Compared to wild salmon, the researchers found that farmed salmon did not have significantly higher concentrations of metals such as arsenic, cobalt, copper, or cadmium. The threefold higher mercury concentration observed in the flesh of wild salmon than in farmed salmon is potentially explained by farmed salmon’s low gastrointestinal absorption efficiency, its negligible transfer of metals to muscle tissue, and its rapid growth cycles (growth dilution). In farmed fish, there were no differences in metal levels found between pre- and post-processing.
August 25th, 2010 at 7:34 am
Umm, thanks? I guess.
August 29th, 2010 at 5:26 am
I think salmonella is spanish for salmon, so this is obviously a problem caused bt those damned illegal immigrant, most likely working on egg farms stealing jobs from god fearing white people.
May 23rd, 2011 at 1:06 pm
my name is Bo….do you know me? if so, give me a shout, bro.