Tinfoiler

Not too long ago I wrote that Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent would make stellar running mates for the 2012 election.  While these two are definitely a powerhouse duo, with Sarah’s inventive vocabulary and herculean work ethic paired with Ted Nugent’s cool voice and ability to slay any animal and convert it to delicious jerky; there is actually a more practical match that true Americans should be supporting.  The dream team for 2012 is Sarah Palin and Mel Gibson.  I know a lot of you have gotten caught up in the liberal lame stream media that has suddenly decided to target Mel Gibson and spin many of statements to make them sound mean and bad.  Heck, even I got caught up in that until my son Hunter pointed out that Mel Gibson is merely a passionate man, proven by the fact that he made a movie with the word passion in it, “The Passion of the Christ”.  He is passionate just like Jesus H. Christ, and is being persecuted in much the same way. That’s when the light bulb turned on inside of my brain.  The atheists hate his passion and holiness and are trying to destroy him just like they did with Jesus a couple hundred years ago.  Typical liberals, always crying racism, when it is really the liberals who are racists against Mel Gibson.

Sarah Palin ascends to heaven and will bring the USA with her.

Both Sarah and Mel have been in the news a lot lately.  Sarah Palin has really been flexing her muscles and showing her power to turn bad people into good Christians.  Her daughter, Bristol Palin, is now engaged to the father of her Jesus-like baby.  At first thought, this might seem like a terrible thing since her fiancé’s name, Levi Johnston, can be rearranged to spell to ‘Evil Shot’ and he is a known pornographer (he took his shirt off for an issue of Playgirl). My son, Scout, actually cried like a wimpy girl when he heard this, screaming “The devil is gonna get into Sarah and she is gonna turn into an Obama socialist!”.  But I knew Sarah had a plan, just like our Lord.  It’s not that Bristol was tempted toward evil and nakedness, it’s that Sarah was able to turn Levi back to the moral side with her Mamma Grizzlyattitude.  Her ability to force people into being Christians is exactly the kind of thing we need in the White House.

Mel Gibson looks presidential, which is an important quality.

As for poor Mel Gibson, he is still getting lashings from the liberals all around him.  But just like Jesus, he is sacrificing himself for the rest of us.  The words that come out of his mouth are the words that all of us good Midwestern Christians want to say, but are too afraid to under the Obama tyranny.  Mel has the passion to say these things for us.  He’s been tempted by the devil, with alcohol and with a foreign girlfriend.  But he has since stood up and shown his true feelings and passion as a man and spoke against her and all the other bad things in the world that liberals expect us to just “accept” and “tolerate”.  Liberals like to try to shove tolerance down everyone’s throats, which is very un-Biblical.  Jesus never tried to shove anything down anyone’s throat. Mel’s passion makes him a great candidate for the White House.  He made the film, “The Passion of the Christ” which proves he read the ENTIRE BIBLE!  This is something that very few people have been able to accomplish.  This, in itself, is probably the only necessary qualification for the White House.

Both Sarah and Mel have similarities to past powerful leaders.  Outside of their obvious holy connections, both have common traits found in one of America’s greatest presidents, George W. Bush.  Most importantly, they both have American names, Palin and Gibson, unlike our current president, whose name I wouldn’t be able to pronounce if wasn’t forced down my throat every day on all the propaganda television stations. Second, neither of them are afraid to say anything they want.  Being ‘politically correct’ is for sissies.  If you hurt someone’s feelings with what you say, they probably deserve to have their feelings hurt.  Just look at Mel, the only person he hurt was his ex-girlfriend and she was a foreigner, so it was okay.  And Sarah, she is smarter than all of us.  Just like former president Bush, she is able to make up her own words, like refudiate.  That shows just how bright they both are.  I’ve tried to make up my own words and they never make any sense.

In 2012, we need passion and morals in the White House to help clean up this country.  Sarah Palin and Mel Gibson are perfect for it.  I hope you will join me in urging them to team up to start a long legacy of good true Christians running this country.  Hopefully, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston will be next.  They will soon be perfect as well, with their legacy and Levi being named after a good American denim company.  The future is looking bright!